Our Whole Lives

Honest, accurate information about sexuality changes lives. It dismantles stereotypes and assumptions, builds self-acceptance and self-esteem, fosters healthy relationships, improves decision-making, and has the potential to save lives.

Our Whole Lives Assumptions · All persons are sexual. · Sexuality is a good part of the human experience. · Human beings are sexual from the time they are born until they die. · It is natural to express sexual feelings in a variety of ways. · People engage in healthy sexual behavior for a variety of reasons, including to express caring and love, to experience intimacy and connection with another, to share pleasure, to bring new life into the world, and to experience fun and relaxation. · Sexuality in our society is damaged by violence, exploitation, alienation, dishonesty, abuse of power, and the treatment of persons as objects. · It is healthier for young adolescents to postpone sexual intercourse.

Sex is not just about physical coupling and affection; it is about all aspects of a person's sexuality, body, emotions, and passion. Treating sexuality, body, feelings, and passion as taboo subjects never discussed at home harms a kid's life. Understand why children must learn about sex.

This website and all the explicit content on it supports the National Sexuality Education Standards

Can you imagine how it must feel not to be a person?
To feel that you will never have sex, raise a family, or fully participate in society? To be in that wedge of virgins labeled "Misery" in the graph below. Twenty-nine million adult Americans have never had sex. That is a humanitarian tragedy and the cause of many suicides and misery.

“Here is an activity that is free, here … is an activity that makes people happy, and what’s the matter with all of you not to engage in it?” Most literature on the topic presumes that sexual attraction and desire do, in fact, exist in everyone, that sex is therefore a critical part of everyone’s life, and that there must be something wrong with people who don’t have it.

Withholding knowledge, teaching, and nurturing a kid's sexuality is child abuse. Human being abuse. A cruel crime against the child and society. A recipe for depression and suicide. Loneliness, depression, and misery imposed for a lifetime on 3rd and 7th graders by irresponsible adults enjoying sex whenever they want it. That's evil.

Stephanie Cacioppo's book Wired for Love:
"My scientific research on the brain has convinced me that a healthy love life is as necessary to a person's well-being as nutritious food, exercise, or clean water. Evolution has sculpted our brains and bodies specifically to build and benefit from lasting romantic connections. When those connections are frayed or ruptured, the consequences to our mental and physical health are devastating."

Here is a Ted Talk à What we don't teach kids about sex
"I didn't have any language for what I was experiencing; I didn't know it was going to pass. So, I did the best thing I could at the time, and I checked out. And you can't isolate just the difficult feelings, so I lost access to the joy, the pleasure, the play, and I spent decades like that, with low-grade depression, thinking that this is what it meant to be a grown-up."

People who become sexually active for all the wrong reasons suffer from loneliness, depression, and misery, too. Prevention of sexual social ineptitude starts with adequate sex education.
Sex Ed and Sexuality Nurturing begin at birth. N

Suicide is the second leading cause of death in young people. Among 18-to-24-year-olds surveyed in 2020, the CDC said, about 25 percent had seriously considered suicide. Suicide accounts for over two-thirds of the yearly 32,000 firearms deaths in the United States.
Suicides are an end-stage of depression.

162,000 Americans die yearly from loneliness and social isolation.

That is greater than the number of Americans who die annually from lung cancer or stroke.

Depression is the second most common cause of death. Sexual dysfunction is one of the common symptoms seen in depression. Depression and sexual dysfunction are co-morbidities. Sexual functioning is one of the key determinants of quality of life. (Sexual Dysfunction in Depression 2017).

'An Epidemic of Loneliness and Despair': How Wisdom Can Help

Teen Depression is on the rise. Here are two recent discussions: Why American Teens Are So Sad (April 2022, The Atlantic) and Gun Violence and the Deep Sadness of Our Teens (Bishop Baron July 2022). Both avoid mention of the "elephant in the room" Social Isolation and Sex. The problem of teen depression is not going away until society starts discussing and addressing a major cause: failure to nurture sexuality and pair bonding.

Hiding sexuality under a rug of embarrassment and denial is killing people.

People in a loving intimate relationship are not likely to commit suicide.
Or go out and massacre little kids with their AR-15 toy.

There is no more effective way to prevent loneliness than having an intimate partner, a mate.

Twenty-nine million American adults (11% of the adult population) have never had sex. That is a national tragedy and disgrace. No other people (except maybe Vatican City) raise their children so stupidly.

According to the Surgeon General's report on the epidemic of loneliness, in 1960, single-person households accounted for only 13% of all U.S. households. In 2022, that number more than doubled to 29% of all households. Almost a third of householders are without a life partner.

I believe that most cases of loneliness, depression, misery, suicide, and mass murder would be prevented by effective parenting, sex ed, and programs to reduce social ineptitude, isolation, and rejection.

Sex is a biological driver of every person's life. The interpersonal skills and relationships a human develops from childhood start with sex. Sex à Couple à Family à Society Sex is the forerunner of the couple. Without the couple, there is no family. An individual not part of a couple and family cannot fully participate in society. He does not feel part of a community or relate to others who are coupled. 7% of 25-year-olds have not experienced sex largely because of taboos imposed by the 93% who have sex on average 2.6 times a week. That is evil.

You, me, our parents, our friends, neighbors, kids, grandkids, everyone we see, every one of the 8 billion people on earth were produced by a couple. Our civilization, society, community, and family are based on couples having sex. It is harmful to pretend that teaching children about sex is "dirty" - there is nothing dirty or evil about sex.

An article from the Washington Post: After Roe, teens are teaching themselves sex ed because the adults won't. (in PDF) "teen birthrate in the United States — 16.7 births per 1,000 females in 2019 — is consistently among the highest in the developed world." Today! Just as it was when I was young. The current cause of so much grief, misery, depression, and suicide.

In this age of smartphones, tablets, and PCs, it makes no sense to discuss sex and sexuality without pictures and videos of nudity and sex S. Honest, truthful, complete, and trustworthy communications require both. Speech, text, cartoons, and puppets are just silly and ineffective. The goal is to present responsible sex and sexuality education as necessary, fun, joyous, and satisfying to kids and parents who otherwise are not getting that message.

Adolescents' conceptions of learning and education about sex and relationships
Validation of all the statements made above. Sex for some kids starts in 7th grade. Sex Ed must start sooner. And must be tailored, focused, and interesting for kids.

2/14/2025 6:29 PM